It's been nearly a year since my living arrangement changed and I'm finally beginning to feel grounded again. I'm writing at least 5 days a week and poetry is beginning to percolate and pour forth from my pen. I've never considered myself a poet, and after reading them, you may not either, but writing them does make me feel better. (see my poetry at
www.shawnannmurray.blogspot.com. If I don't plug myself, no one else will. Sorry.)
I'm having fun these days. I've managed to get at least three days a week off work for several weeks now but we're heading into the holiday season and that will probably come to an end, depending on payroll, that is. But it came at a good time. I can feel myself healing finally, after a difficult 2008. This year has been one of reflection and retrospection. I am glad to see the gray clouds starting to part and some rays of sunshine warming my face which is funny since here in Georgia, we've had rain every day for over a week now. I feel rather mellow. I enjoy the rain. It reminds me of my college days when my best friend and I would walk from one end of town to the other in the rain just to get donuts. Well, it was more than just donuts. It was the conversation along the way (and back) and the companionship. I miss those days.
I've heard of a study done recently that said, on average, the American person now has two good friends versus having three in previous years. Have we become such an on-the-go society that we no longer have time for friends? With instant messaging, texting, facebook and twitter, we spend so much time in virtual reality that we're out of touch with reality. We may be able to keep in touch with many more people through the Internet but at what cost? I challenge you to take a moment and make a phone call, go to the Hallmark store and pick out a card to let someone know you're thinking about them, write a letter or just make plans to visit this holiday season. With the economy the way it is, bringing a bit of cheer to someone's day with a personal touch will go a long way.
Personally, I'm giving more effort to reaching out to those I call friends. Getting out of my shell has always been difficult for me, even more so since suffering long bouts of depression so often. When depressed, it's easy to ignore the phone calls and emails. But it gets to a point when you wonder where all of your friends have gone. Do they really care anymore? If they cared, wouldn't they still call?
Well, frankly, no. In this day of 1001 distractions a minute, it's easy to let that call slip through your memory. We can't blame them. It's time to make the call yourself. And that's what my mission is right now. I'm reaching out to friends, putting myself out there, becoming the person I want to be, doing the things I want to do, taking better care of myself; physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially. Getting things in order, so to speak.
I've begun reading A Course In MIracles again and really feel grounded in the teachings of Jesus. I'm writing nearly on a daily basis. I've reconnected with my two younger brothers with whom I'd lost contact with many, many years ago. My oldest brother is newly married and now has a son and I'm just absolutely tickled to be an aunt. I'm so looking forward to seeing him at Christmas. I've let go off the old family secrets that were debilitating me and working on forgiveness - it's a process.
I'm joining the Y and the local chess club. Spending time with family and friends. And I'm feeling the urge to break out the guitar, keyboards and even the canvass, paints and brushes. Even checking into going back to school, though it may be anything from culinary school to bartending school, from college to life coach training, not sure yet but the thirst for knowledge is rearing it's head again.
And as far as my recovery from the abyss called 2008, my health is on track. I've managed to get the diabetes under complete control without the help of medication. My last visit to the doctor showed clear test results so surgery, now elective, remains on the horizon, albeit farther out than first anticipated.
NaNoWriMo is approaching and I'm excited about this years idea. I have plenty of time to plan events for the Atlanta area participants and outline my own project. Even stirring up old ideas for next years SciptFrenzy already. But the plan is to finish up the first draft of 2007's NaNo project, devote myself to 2009's project during November, set it aside for December and work on the second (and final hopefully) draft of my ScriptFrenzy 2007 screenplay and send it off in the New Year. The worst that can happen is they say no. That's what I told myself when I went for the casting call for Warm Springs and look where that ended up; an extra in that movie and also on Blue Collar TV. Who knows what can happen when I submit my script for consideration.
I may just end up famous. And you can say you knew me when...
