Welcome to 2012
The New Year has been strange for me. I feel as though i'm in the aftermath of a depression, which is different. In the past, I've either been in a depression or out of it. I feel pretty good but aware that the holiday depression I suffered could so easily overtake me again. Awareness is good, I guess. I'm looking at the world differently.
I'm reading self-help books again, though I realize that many of them are only a bandage on the problem, it seems to stop the blood flow. I'm reading one now called The Seven Wonders that Will Change Your Life by Glenn Beck. But this one has me taking action, at least journaling about the wonders. I've had many insights into my past that seem to stay with me.
Since I'm a miserable failure in therapy, journaling seems the next best thing-when I do it and when i don't focus on the crap. Writing about the crap is one thing. Delving into it at the expense of my life is another.
I've had a few moments when the crap overtakes me still but they're fewer and far between. I've changed many things in my life, one being that I give myself permission to not write. It seems that these days, I can only write when I make an appointment with another writer to meet and actually write. I'm writing a chapter a week on my newest project, though this project is the most daunting I've ever undertaken.
A 17 book project - a mystery series - that I plan to pitch to an agent once the first book is complete. I'm four chapters in so at a chapter a week, that should take me about 30 weeks, plus a month or two to edit, I should send it off just before NaNo this year and start the next one.
In the meanwhile, I'll commit myself to ScriptFrenzy and the SumNoWriCha (maybe I'll get it done faster if I work on this for the Challenge). I'm actually dreaming about this WIP and getting more inspiration. This piece seems to have taken off when I realized I needed more back story, more character description and that I had a 17 year arc to focus on. For some reason, it was stuck in my head that the characters would remain the same age throughout the 17 year arc. Foolish me. When I realized all that could happen in 17 years, and everything that happened to my characters before the start of the series, the muse started to flow through me.
I must learn to get out of my own way.
But writing a chapter a week seems to be a good pace for me right now. My job hasn't changed - yet. My supervisor still wants to promote me but I'd rather get the h*ll out of retail. So instead of beating myself up over not having the energy at the end of the day to write, I'm doing things that energize me and renew my soul and spirit. One of those things, believe it or not, is watching the entire B5 series from start to finish.
I'm completely amazed and in awe of what J. Michael Straczynsk did with this show. It was the 5 year arc that made me realize my own 17 year arc. All the details that built one upon another in this series that initially only seemed like minor details just blows me away. When I initially watched the show, I started somewhere in Season 2 and then proceeded to miss as many episodes that I watched. And over the years, I just watched them as I acquired them on DVD. This is the first time I've seen them from the Pilot through to the end. I'm watching all the special features and Joe talks a lot about the writing process. And since I was first introduced to the B5 world when Joe wrote for Writer's Digest about ten or more years before it ever hit the air, I'm learning oh-so-much about the process.
And all the spiritual messages thrown into a sci-fi series just tickles me to death. If someone wanted to know my spiritual beliefs, I only need to point to B5. The good news is that the new guy in my life is also a B5 fan.
I know I'm not out of the woods as far as depression is concerned but I'm getting stronger each and every day. Having a major setback could easily happen but I feel I'm better equipped to handle it now.
One of the things that seem to hang me up in my writing and in life too, I guess, is the whole end of the world thing. My brother actually has 12/21/2012 in a countdown to the end of the world. I'm watching for signs just as I've done most of my adult life. As a teenager, I was indoctrinated by Nostradamus and his writings. According to what he wrote, World War III was supposed to take place when I was around 26. Then there was the whole 2000 virus thing and the guy in California thing and many others inbetween. I think these things affected me more than I thought. Not only have I been waiting for my life to start as far as a real relationship was concerned but why bother trying at all if the world's going to end?
So this year, I've made the conscious decision to do it anyway. As far as my writing is concerned, if the world ends in December or I don't survive the end of the world, I will have written the first book in my series. It will be done anyway. If the world doesn't end, then i can write book two. Simple as that. Still working on the whole real relationship thing but that's another story. (pardon the pun).
That's my life. What else can I say?
I'm reading self-help books again, though I realize that many of them are only a bandage on the problem, it seems to stop the blood flow. I'm reading one now called The Seven Wonders that Will Change Your Life by Glenn Beck. But this one has me taking action, at least journaling about the wonders. I've had many insights into my past that seem to stay with me.
Since I'm a miserable failure in therapy, journaling seems the next best thing-when I do it and when i don't focus on the crap. Writing about the crap is one thing. Delving into it at the expense of my life is another.
I've had a few moments when the crap overtakes me still but they're fewer and far between. I've changed many things in my life, one being that I give myself permission to not write. It seems that these days, I can only write when I make an appointment with another writer to meet and actually write. I'm writing a chapter a week on my newest project, though this project is the most daunting I've ever undertaken.
A 17 book project - a mystery series - that I plan to pitch to an agent once the first book is complete. I'm four chapters in so at a chapter a week, that should take me about 30 weeks, plus a month or two to edit, I should send it off just before NaNo this year and start the next one.
In the meanwhile, I'll commit myself to ScriptFrenzy and the SumNoWriCha (maybe I'll get it done faster if I work on this for the Challenge). I'm actually dreaming about this WIP and getting more inspiration. This piece seems to have taken off when I realized I needed more back story, more character description and that I had a 17 year arc to focus on. For some reason, it was stuck in my head that the characters would remain the same age throughout the 17 year arc. Foolish me. When I realized all that could happen in 17 years, and everything that happened to my characters before the start of the series, the muse started to flow through me.
I must learn to get out of my own way.
But writing a chapter a week seems to be a good pace for me right now. My job hasn't changed - yet. My supervisor still wants to promote me but I'd rather get the h*ll out of retail. So instead of beating myself up over not having the energy at the end of the day to write, I'm doing things that energize me and renew my soul and spirit. One of those things, believe it or not, is watching the entire B5 series from start to finish.
I'm completely amazed and in awe of what J. Michael Straczynsk did with this show. It was the 5 year arc that made me realize my own 17 year arc. All the details that built one upon another in this series that initially only seemed like minor details just blows me away. When I initially watched the show, I started somewhere in Season 2 and then proceeded to miss as many episodes that I watched. And over the years, I just watched them as I acquired them on DVD. This is the first time I've seen them from the Pilot through to the end. I'm watching all the special features and Joe talks a lot about the writing process. And since I was first introduced to the B5 world when Joe wrote for Writer's Digest about ten or more years before it ever hit the air, I'm learning oh-so-much about the process.
And all the spiritual messages thrown into a sci-fi series just tickles me to death. If someone wanted to know my spiritual beliefs, I only need to point to B5. The good news is that the new guy in my life is also a B5 fan.
I know I'm not out of the woods as far as depression is concerned but I'm getting stronger each and every day. Having a major setback could easily happen but I feel I'm better equipped to handle it now.
One of the things that seem to hang me up in my writing and in life too, I guess, is the whole end of the world thing. My brother actually has 12/21/2012 in a countdown to the end of the world. I'm watching for signs just as I've done most of my adult life. As a teenager, I was indoctrinated by Nostradamus and his writings. According to what he wrote, World War III was supposed to take place when I was around 26. Then there was the whole 2000 virus thing and the guy in California thing and many others inbetween. I think these things affected me more than I thought. Not only have I been waiting for my life to start as far as a real relationship was concerned but why bother trying at all if the world's going to end?
So this year, I've made the conscious decision to do it anyway. As far as my writing is concerned, if the world ends in December or I don't survive the end of the world, I will have written the first book in my series. It will be done anyway. If the world doesn't end, then i can write book two. Simple as that. Still working on the whole real relationship thing but that's another story. (pardon the pun).
That's my life. What else can I say?
Hi Shawn, I've been trying to contact you--you placed 3rd in my Blog Giveaway and I want to send you your prizes! I am glad to hear you are writing and journaling. Wishing you a Wonderful 2012. Waiting to hear from you
Reply to this